Tuesday, June 30, 2009

BP20 - 11 JUN 2009 : KHAMIS

When I was checking my e mail, found one from Nuruddin about 14th ICOT to be held next week.
I sort of seen the notification about the it ages ago, but it looked like it was such a hodge-podge conference (macam bubur lambuk... the focus wasn't there, I thought). There was going to be talk from leaders, academicians, businessmen, etc.
However, now they had the details of the programme & I found a few which were directly related to Neuroscince & on memory (good for Zulfa who would be looking at hafazan & Amzari who would use some sort of memory test for the Qiamullail activity).
So, I signed up online & would just have to apply for cuti khas persidangan. Too late to get peruntukan persidangan. $850 after discount registration (It was supposed to be $1,200) :(

BP19 - 10 JUN 2009 : RABU

I asked Kak Ijah & Kak Erah to accompany me for a massage that I badly need for my shoulder-back aches at TO in Bangsar Village 2. The headquarter of this Thai spa is in Mega Mall & it is one of those establishment which is is above board, professional, clean... of course it cost a bomb (at least in my scale of spending)!
Seronok-seronok sekali-sekala ok lah :)
When T.Mak could still walk a lot more than now, we have brought her there & she enjoyed the foot & back massages. The branch in Bangsar Village 2 looked like it is easily accessible & a bit more exclusive, but I've never been there & it would be nice to beramai-ramai to check out the place.

We didn't go with Pak Mat Des as we originally planned to, because Abang Em turned up to take BFX. He wanted to borrow it to balik kampung for kenduri of his adik ipar (Zali). So, we made him drove us to Bangsar.

Instead of going straight to the place, we walked straight into HJ on the ground floor.
For whatever reason, I've always ended getting something to commemarate significant events, e.g. Adlan-Sakina's, Irfan-Idura's... cari alasan saja.

Sometime back (after the Bell's Palsy episode), I've already made up my mind to get a pair of earings. Ye lah, to raikan the facial nerve that passed by near the ear. Ha... Ha... Ha...
I've seen a pair which was on sale for 50% off in one of those flyer advertisements that was shoved in my home mailbox.
Well, just my luck... that pair was no longer available, but a pair was just brought in the day before & it was 70% off! The cost was slightly less than the one advertised & this pair have 2 dangling items each which could be slipped on &off.
OK, I could give each of the dangling items to my future 2 daughter in laws!
So, in my 'cheapskate mind" this would be a good buy -- 70% off, hadiah untuk telinga, hadiah untuk bakal menantu... wah, multifunction buy!
Then Kak Ijah pun menggalakan dengan ungkapan,"Duit kamu... "

A funny thing happened...
Since, I didn't bring that much cash on me, I used my VISA card.
When I signed the bill, I stopped after 'signing' my name as "BELL". What was I thinking? Takkan sampai tukar nama ikut penyakit? Actually, I was about to continue signing on the 'name' "PALSY" when I realized what I just wrote down.
Adoi! Ini dah naik sasau!
I looked at the salesman & sheepishly informed him, "Dik sorry... Nama saya bukan Bell, tapi awak tengok muka saya ni... penyakit ni namanya Bell's Palsy..."
I didn't know what went through his mind, but Kak Ijah & Kak Erah nak ketawa mungkin sedih pun ada rasanya.
Kak Erah kata, "Sign aja apa-apa, dia orang terima aja...". Ye lah tu!
Anyway, I cancelled off "BELL" then signed my name. Terus pakai the dangling earing!

We walked on a bit through the different floors. At Hajaba I just sat at the chair while Kak Ijah & Kak Erah were looking at the clothings & tudung... Every now & then they metioned "Una" (my 6th sibling). Yeah... ini semua barang yang look good on Una & she can afford it. Kak Erah bought a heart-shape pink pendant for Fitrah :)

By the time we reached TO, I decided that I would belanja my sisters. Kak Erah was a bit reluctant... relax lah Kak Erah. You're on a holiday!
So, Kak Erah went for the foot massage while both me & Kak Ijah went for the half body (shoulder, etc) massage.
Since most of the time I had been sleeping in not very normal position, my body was aching all over.

It had been reported that although Bell's Palsy was supposed to effect only the facial nerve, thus specifically only the facial muscle control... yet, there seemed to be some individuals who could not physically stable themselves, e.g. while standing, walking, etc.
Guess what, I'm one of them. So, my walking & standing sometimes might be a bit wobbly / not steady. That could create some back aches, also.

Once done, we went to MPH. Each of them bought books for their grand-daughter (Ayrah & Qaisarah). I got few reference books for Arafah who would be sitting for her UPSR. We're hoping she would start her generation of cousins studying in the new Sek. Men. Sains BD.

Lunch at Nando's then we went back by cab.

Good outing with my 3rd & 4th siblings !

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Monday, June 29, 2009

BP18 - 9 JUN 2009 : SELASA

Kak Erah & I went out again with Pak Mat Des to Institut Tun Hussin Onn Eye Center. I told her that I wanted to change the frame of my current glasses to a lighter one. Furthermore, the left lense had came off & there was a chip on one of the corners. I wasn't just going to accompany her.

First we have her registered then we went to the optomerist. This time Dr. Azimah was there & I told her about what we wanted todo the day before. Since we already saw Dr. Linda, she didn't see a need to see us. She looked sad, though. Anyway, then she went about helping me to get the right frame. By then, I realized that I left my phone in Pak Mat's cab. Kak Erah's phone wasn't working & she had passed it to Fitrah to get it fixed! Double AIIYYAA!!!
So, called up Aiman at home asking him to tell Pak Mat Des about my phone & to get Fitrah's number to make arrangement about fetching Kak Erah. I had my TS acupuncture session to keep, in addition to having Pak Pozi-Kak Ijah-Rahil-Ayra wanting to tag along!

The test Kak Erah had to undergo didn't go well.
She had to repeat the tests so very many times... maybe she was too anxious or maybe the computer-Dr Linda should just accept the 'weird' results from Kak Erah as one of those out of the regular results.
After all Kak Erah is certainly NOT your regular kind of person!
Finally, Dr. Linda decided that Kak Erah should just quit the test & it was already 3.30pm. She had to wait some more for Dr. Linda's analysis of the results & while waiting she had a bowl of mee curry at the cafeteria.
Again, I thought, "Hey... that's a lot of carbo. I have to help her finished it!" So, when she went to the toilet, I finished whatever was in the bowl & buat-buat tak faham saja when she came back in. He... He...

Finally, Pak Mat Des arrived & we went back home for me to solat Zohor, get Naza, get TS registration card & picked up the others from VA.

Of course, Pak Mat Des knows all the short cuts & we managed to get there in time to see Dr. Wu. Phew!
Rahil was having bouts of migraine almost daily & so she wanted to try acupuncture. So, me & her we shared a room with 2 beds for the acupuncture treatment. I was behind a curtained bed since Pak Pozi was sitting in the room menemankan his one & only daughter going through the rather adventurous-scary experience. Kak Ijah was with Ayra going in & out of the room... well, mostly out!
I had about the same number of needles on my right foot, arm, face, middle of the head & one on my left forehead (I was told later by a colleague, Prof Datin LAL that energy from the OK left side was being pulled to the right!)

It helped to have people you know & close to your heart while you're being poked by those needles :)

Before we were finished, Kak Erah & Fitrah arrived. By then, however, the registration for 2-5pm had closed.
We thought it was Fitrah who wanted to try acupuncture for her shoulder pain.
As usual easily scared (with things like this lah... hal lain ya amat berani!) Kak Erah wanted to pull out -- herself and/or for her daughter, ie after Fitrah dah pecut across town at the busy time of the day!
I decided to leave early first with Rahil-Ayra & Pak Mat Des.
It had been a long day for me & with my usual sleeping of only about 2-3 hours a night, I was about to pengsan.

However, I did sempat said this to Kak Erah, "Nabi pun kata unta kena ikat dulu... kemudian kita tawakkal"

Later on that night, it seemed Kak Erah got herself registered but not for acupuncture... for traditional-herbs medicine of her diabetes. Not fair... her herbs ubat was already bottled!
Whateverlah.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQTj5OzQMy8&feature

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Thursday, June 25, 2009

BP17 - 8 JUN 2009 : ISNIN

I went out with Suami for my weekly facial electrotherapy massage at UMMC. To the frequency of the session, the girl whom I normally deals with told me it's done once a week because of the unavailability of it. However, if I want to do more than once a week, I would have to get maybe a doctor from UMSC to give the instruction, i.e. best to see same doctor that's seeing you in UMMC. In my case Prof KJG.
I've put up the idea to him & he didn't buy it. I had blurted to him about my acupuncture dos.

Anyway, As usual, I brought some work that I can pass my time with while undergoing the session. Talked to CT Aisyah a bit... UMMC still have things to check on her neck-arm excruciating pain.

Went back straight home with a cab. Getting a cab at the front entrance of UMMC is easy in the morning-noon time. There are always people that the cabs are sending -- patients & would be patients plus of course those who came visiting. BUT, try to get them in very late afternoon... the drivers become choosy & there was in 1 occasion, the driver refused to use the meter to go to AMCORP! Flat fee of $5.

At home Kak Erah was browsing the internet & she was already ready to go with me to Institut Tun Hussien Onn at 11am naik teksi Pak Mat Des when he sent Aiman from tuition.
I just wanted to see Dr Azimah (*PP honorary optomerist) & just get her opinion on my blurry right eye & discuss about sleeping problem, etc.
Of course killing 2 birds with 1 stone... I wanted Kak Erah to have a proper eye check up, since she's a cronic diabetic person. Deep down I didn't think she would agree to any of thet, so having her to see Dr Azimah would be the least I could trick her into doing!

We stopped by at the department first to exchange documents with the NeuroRG grad students. I then made them meet Kak Erah, who was waiting for me in the taxi. I didn't expect her to come out... but she did & held center court at the parking lot. Kut politician... politician lah juga :)

Aiyaa... our luck... Dr Azimah was on leave for the day. Only 2 optomerists working & so they were not accepting any more patients!!
Managed to convince Kak Erah to join me & see Dr. Linda, an eye specialist (I've seen her before). Begrudgingly, she relented. So, I did the registration for her, etc.
Later on, I figured out it was because she felt uneasy because she didn't have enough cash on her. Passed her some $ that I wanted to give to Al-Ulum & told her that she could use it first.

We had our eyesight checked & of course I failed misreably with my watery-blurry right eye :(
By the time we were in front of Dr. Linda's clinic, it was way past noon. Her nurse called our names only to tell us to go to lunch, but to be back by 2.30pm! Ooo.. Ooo.. Kak Erah yang takut jumpa apa-apa doktor pun... ajak balik :(
Told her, pada balik... baik pi AMCORP lunch & shopping... after all we're already outside.
We walked out to the main road & got into a taxi. At about the same time, received an sms from Kak Ijah informing us she's in AMCORP with Pak Pozi for lunch.
Yeay, maybe she could help me convince HER younger sister to see Dr Linda at 2.30pm :)

We had our lunch at another Pak Pozi-Kak Ijah's favourite restaurant. Kak Erah ordered mee bandung Muar which was served in a big bowl & I thought, " Wow... so much carbo! Bad for her diabetes! I have to help her finish this one!"
Kamila called asking my whereabouts. Supposedly a group of people were with her & they thought of coming to visit me.
(People, I know & appreciate that you all are concerned about me... Rezeki dalam bentuk friendship!
BUT (a big one) I hate being "VISITED". It's as if I'm sick... I'm in a denial mode ! Meet me for breakfast, lunch, high tea... no need to visit me lah!)


We were at a shop, choosing tudungs when Dr. Linda's nurse called to remind us to come back for our appointment. Kak Ijah made arrangement to send us in TAF. Yeay, Kak Erah just had to ikut. Itu pun, on the way out sempat lagi tengok baju-baju jualan. Belilah baju kurung warna tema lilac-purplish Tini & Bibik Khasanah untuk kenduri bertunang Muaz.

We had to wait a bit before our the pupils of our eyes (anak mata) were dilated. Each of us had sticker put on our tudung & we were making jokes about the 2 of us invalids trying to find our way home after that. Both of us went in together to see Dr. Linda:

1) She told me that mine is a temporary condition due to the Bell's Palsy condition. She also prescribed me a type of gel for the eye (to which I would be grateful for) -- GenTeal Gel (a product of Novartis) -- as an additional protection for the unblinking-always opened right eye. Gave me an MC for the day.

2) As for Kak Erah, looked like she had both her optic nerves (cranial nerve II) macam bengkak-kembang sedikit & some other non-normal indicators. Dr. Linda wanted her to take more test the next day at 1pm.
Ooo... Ooo...

We rushed home then went out again to bring T.Mak to see Prof KJG at UMSC. Fitrah sent us. It didn't take long & as usual we normally enjoyed chatting with Prof KJG. T.Mak was prescribed her usual Aricept.
As we normally do, we went down to the cafetaria to have our minum petang. Hey, they sell waffles now!
Sitting at the same table from which T.Mak could look at the cars coming out of the PJ gate, she would eventually asked about the big trees up on the slope of the back of the Engineering Faculty & also 'the brightness' from the setting of the sun which could also be seen through the glass doors of the cafetaria.

I had Suami picked me up from UMSC on his way to pick up Durrah, leaving them to continue with the outing & to be picked up later by Pak Pozi.
I was close to my limit of what I could physically handle.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giUlSGaXeSM&feature=related
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Saturday, June 20, 2009

BP16 - 7 JUN 2009 : AHAD

2 weeks of the Bell's Palsy episode... I am past the 'rush hour' period, now time to reflect & plan for the next course of actions.
So, I went for my walk at the reflexology path at the nearby park.

I must remember to tell Durrah that 2 swings of her favourite spot in the park were vandalized!My Sunday usual routine... Today, Durrah in Bukit Maxwell celebrating Datin Osh's b'day! Osh shared same b'day as aruah Azran (Suami's younger brother).

Being in the park is also the time I normally used to look through my sms & do tidying up.
The words of encouragement I received not just through the sms / e mails, etc etc etc just amazed me. People have been very kind.
Syukur, ini juga rezeki :)

So, things I would be doing:

1) Monday -- Facial electrotherapy at UMMC early in the morning.

2) Monday -- To Institut Mata Tun Hussin Onn after that. Blurriness of the right eye bothering me a lot & worrying me!

3) Tuesday -- TS Hospital (3rd acupuncture session)

4) Wednesday -- Massage at TO in Bangsar Village II & maybe buy ear rings (?) to commemarate the inflammed facial nerve passing close by the right ear. Ha... Ha... Cari excuse saja nak shopping :)

5) Thursday -- Meeting of coordinators in the department

6) Friday -- TS Hospital (4th acupuncture session)

Intake wise -- prednisolone & medications to counter its effects; some nutrients to help the nerve (honey, CENTRUM multivitamin, Zinc, POE / Primrose evening oil suggested by June, methycobal.

Amzar eagerly drove Suami-Aiman to Pasar Tani of Bukit Angkasa for their usual grilled lamb chops! Ate breakfast bought by them & then just laze around reading Sunday papers before preparing to send Amzar to Nilai.

On the way back from Nilai, I was discussing with Aiman about his current ambition / future plans.
It was very obvious that he wanted to go to ASiS but I hope not to follow it up with law (as big brother, Amzar)!
Aiman said that he didn't want to just be engineer who build roads, etc or architect who build buildings but... would like to do something '*useful' to the society, something along doing medicine, etc. Adoii... can just imagine him 'tersilap bedah, etc'.
(*Roads & buildings are useful lah Aiman!)

I mean, this second son of mine (whose laughter has this power to induce smile from those just hearing him laughes) had among others:

- Hurt his head on edge of a PD hotel swimming pool by somersaulting backwards!
This happened within 10 minutes after I strongly warned him NOT to jump/run into the pool because it was dangerous. He innocently told me that he had followed my instructions, i.e. he DID not jump/run into the pool! Yeah, he somersaulted backwards!

- Had 20+ stitches in & around his mouth-lips when his father yanked his head out from being stuck in the space in between the escalator & the wall as you go up the escalator near KFC of Mega Mall. Figure that out.
He was just testing the size of the space!

- Had his knee stitched up because he walked into the drain at school while looking at a cat which was being 'tortured' by some bigger boys

So, I'm always grateful, amat bersyukur to ALLAH swt when he reached his annual b'day!

Back to his ambition, suggested to him maybe he could do Biomedical Engineering? That would be marrying Biology-Medicine-Engineering/Mathematics. Gave him my condition as an example:

- Modern medicine couldn't really do anything, anymore. More of a waiting game & hoping-praying the nerve will have a speedy & complete recovery, InsyaAllah.

- It would be nice if for example a chip could be implanted near the edge of the non-functioning side of the lips & it could be activated when Bell's Palsy victim like me want to pronounce problematic words (e.g. the ones with "BBB", "MMM", "PPP").
It would be a BIG help during the recovery period :)

Currently, I have to:

a) alternatively choose another word with similar meaning or

b) use my finger to pull slightly the right edge of my lips.
(*This had the effect of some of my graduate students, without them realizing, having their own fingers placed on their cheeks while talking to me! Maybe, unconsciously they feel that they're helping me with my speech!)

This way I could speak as fast as I normally would & it would be less difficult for the person I'm conversing with to understand me.

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Doa saya selama ini adalah supaya SEMUA yang membantu & cuba membantu (+ berniat untuk membantu pun) saya dalam apa-apa hal kebajikan (apa bentuk sekali pun) diberi ganjaran sebaiknya oleh ALLAH swt.
Terlebih lagilah doa yang sama ini saya panjatkan kepadaNYA semasa saya mengalami episod Bell's Palsy!
Amin...

Terima kasih semua :)


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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Row45JVFKsA&feature=related


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BP15 - 6 JUN 2009 : SABTU

After Kak Erah & her infamous blogger friend left the house for the gathering in Shah Alam (sent by Fitrah), we left for a Jala Emas breakfast at States.
Amzar, eager to drive!
THEN, I saw the damage done by my 117 gate to the BFX (driver's door)!
Well... certainly not going to fix it. Let it be a reminder to the new driver.

I thought I want to give good food to my body. So, instead the usual nasi lemak, etc... bought set roti bakar & telor ayam kampung separuh masak + madu.
Berkesan ke makan yang sihat-sihat ni sekali-sekala? Ni ala-ala mencurah air ke daun keladi?

Had a restful day, just dozing off here-there & everywhere.

For dinner, we went out to try another of Pak Pozi's favourite restaurant -- Ali Cafe (?) with the aluminium gate.
We were there rather early, so easy parking & all.

By now, I've a regiment of a sort to do "facial muscle exercise" by berzikir-bertasbih after every solat & of course the usual reading of al-Quran.

The bbb---mmm---ppp---etc, etc, etc are all there :)


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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtBO26wJt48&feature=related

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Friday, June 19, 2009

BP14 - 5 JUN 2009 : JUMAAT

2 appointments at UMMC: morning at ORL & afternoon with Prof KJG.

With the different appointments on my UMMC card & my rather 'blurry' state of mind, I didn't realize when, who, why the abbreviation ORL was written on my appointment card!
In other words, I didn't actually know where I was supposed to go.

Let me see... which of my friends would be a good source of reference.
After considering related factors, I narrowed the choice to 2: either Jie or Yati; both regularly visit UMMC.
However, Yati would probably forward my enquiry to her doctor brother...
So, sms-ed Jie. But, she didn't know also!

Asked Suami to drop me in front of the building for the electrotherapy session & I told him, "I'm sure someone knows".

Went to the registration counter of the facial electrotherapy & showed them the appointment card with the abbreviation ORL written on it.
They didn't know.

Went to neuromedical. Asked the ladies at the registration + nurse counters. They were not sure, also.
Then, one of the more senior nurses, asked the girl at the registration counter to call someone / a unit (?).
Macam tu lah... kut kita sendiri tak boleh tolong, mesti ada orang yang boleh kita tanya untuk bantu orang yang minta pertolongan.
I was then told that it would be at E&T. OK, the place near DF :)

This time I met a young lady doctor. With her were 2 students & I thought a foreign male doctor.
The focus of our discussion was about the eye, my high BP (170/100), my high pulse (~100). The outcomes:

1) She suggested that instead of covering my right eye with a pad, just stick the tape straight to the eye lids! Less hassles, less anxiety evoked & impossible to take out the tapes during sleep!
(It turned out that this was a very good suggestion! The only thing was that it hurt a bit when I or when Aiman and/or Durrah helped took off the tape in the morning. A few of my eye lashes yang memang bukan tebal would come off. Kak Ijah told me that if most of my eye lashes came off, then I would have the opportunity to see hantu. Joke is related to some Malay beliefs!

2) She wrote a referal for me to go to RUKA & maybe I could be looked at right away to deal with the high BP.

3) A referral for me to see a doctor about my blurry vision! Back at the E&T registration counter, I was given 16 July for the eye. Lamanya lagi... kena pi sendiri Institut Mata Tun Husin Onn nampaknya.

I went straight to the front counter with the different referral notes.
Alhamdulillah, my luck... although, it was already rather late.. somebody would be able to see me.

As I walked past the people who're waiting in front of the different clinics, met a lecturer from PASUM that I knew from audit training & session. ProfA also called & so chatted with him for a while about my situation.

The young male doctor I met (a Dr H) told me to stop the current BP medication & take the new BP medication - Micardis / telmisartan 40mg daily. That would be 5 times the normal dose of BP medication I was taking!

Other than that he was advising me to take it easy & also alluded to my age :)
I agreed with him that I should remember about my body not being so young anymore... BUT, I also told him another perspective about MOK CIK-MOK CIK working ladies who are at the age of 40+ years yet showed dedication at the work place...
The young always felt that we MOK CIK-MOK CIK should take it easy.
At this age I told him, most ladies could ACTUALLY concentrate / be focused on their work.
Earlier on at our younger age, our maternal instincts would pull us back more towards the needs of bringing up of our young children.

Before I left, I was asked to participate in a survey on Chronic Pain.
As usual, sebuk-sebuk bagi idea how to improve the soal-selidik!
Ha... Ha... macam tak cukup soal-selidik Amzari & Zulfa yang mesti dibetulkan!

Finished just in time to catch a ride home with Suami.

After solat Jumaat, Suami drove me back to UMMC with Amzar & Aiman tagging along. Amzar had to do zeroxing of class materials since he was picked as his class monitor.
When we're about to arrive in UMMC, Amzar realized that he didn't have the set in his bag & so they would have to turn back. Hmmm...

I dozed off while sitting down waiting for my turn.
I was so very tired!
The sleeping of only 2-3 hours a day, the prednisolone causing havocs to my body system & me trying to keep life as normal as possible...
Maybe I did the later TOO WELL, because I was getting sms & calls from Suami & my first child about the missing set to be zeroxed.
I couldn't believe these 2 guys!

By the time I went in to see Prof KJG I was frazzled!
He asked me to make a few facial expressions & of course I couldn't.
He set the next appointment to be on 3 July because he said the nerve conductance test on Thursday last week showed a conductance block & now a week later, no significance change could be detected.
Does it mean that it would be around 3 July before any possibility of recovery?
Adoi.... lamanya lagi... a month, 30 days!

High probability, I would have to wait for regeneration? Re-innervation? Re-myelination? Or just that the axonal nerves are in shock?

As for the nutrients for nerve tissue, no real established report.
"If not, we could just give it to everyone who needs it. You know better all this..."
Yeah, factually I couldn't say that he's wrong.
Classic training of conventional text book medicine.

http://www.bellspalsy.ws/links.htm

Then to wrap up he asked about T.Mak & I told him that we're bringing her in to see him in UMSC early next week, ie she's already in PJ.
He asked me more about T.Mak & us, her 9 children & 30+ cucu & 3 cicit (Ayra, Adli Isa & Qaisara).
I think he knew such a conversation would reduce the heaviness of the facts that he had told me about my Bell's Palsy situation.

So, sms to both Suami & first child that I was done. Told them that I would take a taxi if it was a big deal for them to pick me up (as in if they were too busy still arguing about the missing set to be zeroxed -- a bigger issue than me. Ni kira masuk bab merajuk lah...).

Quickly, they scrambled with sms & calls for me to wait at UMMC entrance. They would pick me up & we would go for minum petang in KL.

In the car, I told them the whole situation was ridiculous.
My life had changed & they were 'arguing' about some missing documents that could be gotten back from the lecturer.

Amzar talked about him not wanting to look like he couldn't deliver in his first task as a monitor. HAAAH !!!

He also repeated what he had mentioned earlier at home, something along the line of, "Mama, InsyaAllah Mama akan baik. Tapi mungkin ambil masa sikit. Mama relaks lah, kalau tidak lagilah Mama stress. Hawkings pun boleh kasi lecture in his condition!"
In my heart, "Hawkings? Did he say Hawkings? I don't care about Hawkings?"
I thought Amzar was really out of touch about my Bell's Palsy episode.
Couldn't exactly blame him because he was not at home... he never read my blog... he was all caught up in his new life.
Also, I guess, in a way he had too much confidence in me of being able to correct what goes wrong, to bounce back, to point out the silver lining of every cloud, to be his supermum (?).

Then... he played the song "Yesterday" on his phone & I was really upset.

I usually spoke very little when I got to this level of being very upset.
So, I just said, "Mama tak mahu cakap apa-apa dah. Please make sure you read my blog tonight. I just want to sleep."

By the time we got to the place to use the $80 vouchers won by Aiman-Suami team in answering a quiz on Radio 24 Bernama, I told myself, "OK lah... Sudahlah... Go with the flow..."

So, we had our minum petang in Laman Sembang. We got to meet To'Ki the infamous Pengguna Islam spokesman who regularly appeared on Radio 24 or Channel 502 Bernama.
Bought some food to send to rumah Abang Em later in the night.
But, I told them I wouldn't be going.
I couldn't bring myself to face my mother today... too much for me to handle.

When we reached home & after the necessities, I took my nap in my normal half-lying & half-sitting position.

Suami & the boys went to Abang Em's house with Amzar driving my BFX. The driving school representative sent his driving license earlier in the day.

It was already night time, they woke me up excitedly to inform me that Amzar hit my 117 gate when he tried to park!
"You all think I worry about my gate ke?"

Anyway, I played along... told him to keep some of his $ to pay me.
Even sms his final year law cousin, Fitrah, that I was appointing her to sue Amzar for damage to my gate, cc-ed the sms to Amzar! Huh!!!

Anyway... by the time I came down for dinner, I knew Amzar had read my blog.
He treated me differently... & maybe there was a tinge of sadness on his face.

But then, when I started sitting in front of my laptop, he told me that HE would only allow me to use it up to 12.30, i.e. after the usual TV3 Nightline news.
Eh??

So, there I was blogging, checking the latest on Manohara's case lah...
12.30 came & gone.
I was thinking, "What was it that he wanted to do? Dah tertidurlah tu... Ha... Ha... Ha..."
Kak Erah pun for the past few nights would also start with lying down on the sofa at the living room & sleepily would say, "Bila kamu nak tidur?"

Suddenly, at 1.30am Amzar came down & said, "OK, Mama... that's it. I'm switching off everything... the plug, the light... semua, everything!"
Kak Erah yang tertidur on the sofa pun terjaga, "Amzar, biarlah Mama saved her work first... kesian kat Mama di dah penat-penat buat!"
He just went, "I'm turning off everything..."
AND HE DID.

So, I went up & got myself ready to sleep. Most of the time I was muttering a couple of times to myself, "I don't believe this boy!"
Suami terjaga & he looked at the clock.
I told him, "Your son turned off everything on me!"

After putting in the artificial tear into the right eye & for the first time I put the tape directly on my right eye lids.
The right technique is to put the tape from the lower lid & pull it up!
In closing the eye, the bottom lid must also be slightly 'pushed up'.
(*Don't have to figure it out, it's done automatically in normal situation. Masya'Allah!)

Anyway, this was the earliest so far that I went to bed. 2.30 am.

Most of the time, InsyaAllah, with the right foundation / basis young people would act accordingly if they were made to understand the issues at hand.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONXp-vpE9eU

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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

BP13 - 4 JUN 2009 : KHAMIS

Suami drove Amzar to Nilai to catch his first day of class. The ladies (Kak Erah & her infamous M-blogger) went off the house to their gathering earlier than me & Aiman because they were going all the way to Shah Alam.

After sending Aiman I went to Abang Em's house, but surprise... surprise Kak Hana was home. It seemed Nizam, Abang Halim & Kak Zainab wanted to visit T.Mak. So, she didn't think it would be fair for me in my current condition be playing host. I had to say that I agreed.

So... here I was at another difficult part that I had to go through. Facing my mother for the first time with my situation.
She was at the table having breakfast.
She looked at me & she could not hide her maternal instinct of feeling so bad-sad for what had happened to me, her daughter.
T.Mak always have things together in front of us when it comes to buffering whatever bad things that besieged us, her 9 children!
Being a mother myself, I understand how we mothers have to put up with these sorts of fronts.
However, in her condition of being a stroke patient (since late 2007), she could not play her part well.
She was so sad & I could see tears in her eyes.
And I was so sad that my condition was causing her this raw pain that was written all over her face.
To be honest, for the first time ever since 23 May... I felt like crying.
She asked simply, "Apa mulanya? Demam?" & she mentioned something about it being termed as balawa'(berlawa?) in Banjar.
Mentioned about mesti urut.
I hugged & kissed her... then, told her that I was ok.

I tried to change the subject & I suceeded a bit, i.e. she forgot about it for a while.
Then, she noticed the face again & she was hurt all over again.
The stroke had caused T.Mak not to be able to make generally any new memories, at all.
She had one of those rare cases that her stroke specifically hit the area to convert new info as memory!
It means that she could 'learn' new information but it didn't get stored.
So, it also means that every experience is a new thing to her, i.e. she didn't get desensitize by previous info on a situation.
Thus, if it is a hurtful experience -- it would be 'first cut' for her each time!

Luckily, *Kak Ha & Abang Zul also came to take away some of T.Mak's attention to other matters.
(*Kak Ha passed shbt Azizan's salam & doa to me. TQ, InsyaAllah doa dimakbulkan)

Back to T.Mak & her reaction to my Bell's Palsy... it seemed she did discussed more about it with Kak Ha, because before Kak Ha left she told me that T.Mak said, I should go for urut.
When Kak Ha & Abang Zul left, T.Mak was looking at me with that sad look again.
Oh God... this is difficult.
When she went into the room to take a nap, I took a nap on the sofa at the living room.
Escapism!

I was at the place till Nizam & parents came. By then, T.Mak's attention was fully focused on making sure the visitors were well taken care of.
Since they had the experience with Mak Aji (eldest sister of T.Mak. My mother is the youngest amongst her siblings), they understood her insistence that they had not tambah their makanan, etc.
Situations that had happened but T.Mak had no re-collections of the matter.
The late Mak Aji was diagnosed as having Alzheimer's Disease (another neuro disease!). Although T.Mak does not have Alzheimer's Disease, some of the symptoms due to her *stroke are rather similar.
(*To divert a bit... teaching the course Diseases of the Nervous System last semester was emotionally difficult for me. T.Mak was with me until the last day of the semester. There were times I felt like crying & I had to keep my emotion checked when the matter being discussed / lectured was very much about what my mother was going through. In fact, I thought if only the students could meet T.Mak, then they would appreciate the subject better, etc.)

By the time the visitors left, Suami had called to inform that we couldn't go to TS Hospital on Saturday because it would be closed due to Agong's birthday. I have an appointment at UMMC on Friday afternoon, thus, I would have to go for my second session today & have it delayed till next week.

Aiman was already sent by Pak Mat Des & had his lunch. So, we drove home & waited for Amzar to turn up before asking Pak Mat Des to send us to TS Hospital.

At this visit, I was not asked to go to the consultation room anymore, but straight to the treatment room.
The doctor saw me there: took my pulse & asked me to stick out my tounge.
I really should ask him why I had to do the latter.
Again... the needles on the right foot, right arm & right face!
So, this time Amzar helped Aiman counted the needles... still 21 but now there was 1 needle put on my left forehead.
During the first session the needles were only on my right face.
I felt as if the focus this time, based on the tingling feel, was on the area near the cheek?
Oh yes, for the follow up session the charge was $22 :)

Once done, Pak Mat Des drove us straight back. We did stop at Yasin Restaurant, all around... mee mamak & ice lemon tea.

We took home some mee mamak to lapik perut Suami before we go for Maghrib at the nearby mosque. We joined other individuals who also had requests / hajat with the Majlis Baca Yasin Khamis malam Jumaat.
Only then I thought of sending sms to the 2 boys in NeuroRG & shbt Halim. Agak lambat.

Before going I also insisted that T.Ayah's name was not to be mentioned; suffice that I would be isteri to Suami.
However, Suami had already given my full name to the Imam a few days ago.
When we arrived at the mosque, I happened to met shbt Pak Kob (mantan top management team). So, showed him the face.

Later, I didn't join the dinner downstairs at the hall, itself, but stayed on at the prayer area.
I wasn't sure that I would be up to making conversations. As one of the hosts, the kenduri food was packed for us to take home.
It seemed Abang Em managed to be at the mosque for Isya'.
Suami told me later, when he changed the details on me, the Ustaz who lead the prayer introduced himself as someone who had studied in Al-Ulum & of course knew T.Ayah.
Deep down I was glad.

Muga diperkenankan doa-doa hamba Mu, Ya ALLAH.

I ate the packed food with Kak Erah & her infamous blogger friend. Discussed a bit on results for the day & the calons for the bigger posts of their gathering.
We also decided also that the next time I met T.Mak, I would just say that my face was stung by the bee :)

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qNx7ggPTLc&feature=related

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Y5GpYQSpVQ&feature=related


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BP12 - 3 JUN 2009 : RABU

In the morning, I took a ride with Suami to the department. Alhamdulillah, my work place is really on his rumah-kerja way. A few things I need to settle with the group.

Siti Salwa wanted to give me air zam-zam brought back home by one of her Arab student from umrah.
However, this had to wait since I didn't really want to menyusahkan Ida to drive me to Siti Salwa's place. Anyway, I still have the bottle of air zam-zam that Ida had given me late last Friday.
Actually, Ida had made arrangement to pick me up after 10.30am so that I could accompany her booked beadings for baju kenduri. Mana lagi... AMCORP!
More shopping, including 2 cotton blouses for Kak Ijah & Kak Erah (buy 1 free 1 & the ones left were their sizes) who would be coming with T.Mak from kampung, also a tout bag similar to my wallet. Bought some extra fun food in preparation of *T.Mak going to be in Abang Em's place.
(*wherever she would be, the place would be visited by warga PP in the Klang Valley!)

Ida & I had sandwich at Subway. This was after she reluctantly told me that's where she wanted to go. She was scared that I would find it difficult to eat the sandwich! Well, betul maybe susah... but perlahan-lahanlah makan! We talked over 'current issues' at work & at home, then she sent me home.



My body really seriously felt bad.
My Microlife BP automatic machine was really recording high readings: BP about 170/100 & pulse around 100.
I kept feeling like I was a horse about ready to race!
I seriously didn't know why I didn't imagine myself as a sportsperson on the race track ready to run in a stadium!

Then there's this fact that I was not supposed to lie down on the affected right side of my face.
BUT, I could feel my heart pumping, especially when lying down on the left side!
I imagined my heavy body stressing on this *pulsating heart!
(Reminded myself of fixation by perfusion through the heart that I did in my lab work!)

So, during the day it was sleeping in a semi-sitting position with a piece of paper folded in such a way heavy enough to anchor down my right eye lid & kept it that way by sliding it down underneath the right side of my lense.

I kept thinking, it must be the prednisone & the different anxiety within me.
No wonder steroid is considered dangerous.
BUT, maybe the machine is wrong... the calibration is off.

Deep down I was getting more scared to sleep.
The chance of getting stroke is soemething else!
I was popping the Atacand / Candesartan cilexetil 16 mg before I slept at 4am & during the day, too or anytime I saw the scary readings!
I used to take only half of that pill daily!
There were only 3 left now. I need to see Dr Selva.

I woke up at 5pm awakened by a phone call from Amzar informing that he was coming back using the komuter from Nilai because classes had not started, yet.

Saw missed calls from Kak Erah & a message that Pak Ripin's car rosak now & parked near Stadium Shah Alam with T.Mak in it! Kak Erah was already at a meeting. Aiyyooo!

Dispatched Fitrah with Aiman to the rescue & to pick T.Mak back to Abang Em's house.

After Maghrib, Suami drove us to the clinics. The lady locum doctor was there & Amzar accompanied me.
She gave me 2 days worth of mcs & advised me to go back to UMMC about my BP, etc.
We had dinner at Mahbob :)
Amzar realized that he had made decision of coming back based on wrong information. First class was to start at 9am the next morning. Some of his friends had even gone back to Pahang & Kelantan.
Live & learn... "info accepted to be right" must also mean that correct designated person releasing the info!

We went to Abang Em's house after that but T.Mak was soundly asleep. Didn't have the heart to wake her up. Promised them that I could stay with her after I sent Aiman to tuition at 8 am tomorrow morning.
Adults plan to go to opening of the big gathering :)

When we reached home Kak Erah & her friend were ready to call it a day! Of course had to show my herot face first to Kak Erah.

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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

BP11 - 2 JUN 2009 : SELASA

Yes... I woke up this morning feeling rather excited... the day I was really going to try *acupuncture!
Suami already called TS Hospital yesterday & we were advised to come between 2-5 pm, i.e. less crowded.

(For the field of Neuroscience, acupuncture is something that one looks at sceptically. Of course there have been many reports / documentaries of its success, even as a replacement to anesthetic agent for an operation... I've shown this documentary to my Neurobiology class. BUT how does it work?)


Before we went, packed Durrah's stuff because her Ipoh Mali cousins (Umar, Syifa' & Widad) invited her to go back with them & spend part of the school holidays in Ipoh (Syifa's b'day & a bowling event) & a trip to Maxwell Hill (Datin Osh's bday!). Aiman couldn't follow because he has his tuition classes. He seemed so determine to go to ASiS for his Form 4... following the footsteps of his big brother!

When we left for TS Hospital, those leaving for Ipoh were still at home. First we went to the department, so that I could do the normal exchange of documents with my NeuroRG post-grad students... downstairs near the surau.

Then off to TS with a printed out map from its website & we managed to find it without much difficulties. It was at the junction after the end of the row of shops opposite the infamous Pudu Raya.

Coming in through the entrance gate, there were 2 junctions: Left to Western Medicine & Right to Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM).

As we came in through the TCM front door, a guard on duty already pressed the button to give me a number to register.

To be honest, I had withdraw quite a sum of $, in preparation in case it wasn't going to accept credit card & that it was going to cost us a bomb!
So, we were very surprised that we only needed to pay $25:
a) Registration fee was $3
b) Acupuncture session (using disposable needles) with a specialist from Beijing University (an Associate Prof. Dr. WZT) was $22.
I was actually given the option to see a Malaysian doctor who would also be an acupunturist specialist for (only) $18. Adoi, "non-branded"?
Well, we came all the way... so, as much as my "Malaysia Boleh" in me... the option taken would be rather obvious!

We were then asked to go upstairs (room 120) to see the doctor.

As we walked up the stair case we saw some posters on acupuncture on the rather bare walls. Nothing fancy in sight & all I could think of "everything is just based on functionalities". The only frivolous things I saw were ornamental bamboo trees in big plastic brown pots!

While taking in the hints from the work environment of the place, we kept walking to a row of chairs close to room 120.

An Indonesian young lady who was walking slightly ahead of me with a limp, sort of slowed down & then just fell flat on her back in front of my path.

A group of nurses rushed to the scene, each bombarding me repeatedly with questions: "Is this your daughter? What happened to her? Is she your amah? Did she eat today?"
Aiyyahh! Am I supposed to be in charge of this girl (also)?

Suami & Aiman were also shocked & they had this "what's going on look" on their faces!
I thought Aiman had even asked me whether I pushed the girl?
"Hey... Mama tahulah Mama ada Bell's Palsy, but I don't go round knocking people down! Biar betul..."

Luckily, the commotion caused the boss of this young lady to come out from a nearby room & she mentioned something like the girl had complained about pain in her leg for the past 2 weeks, etc etc etc. I also heard the girl said that she had not taken anything today (it was already way past 3 pm!!)

I didn't get to hear much anymore because my name was called & I went into the consultation room with Suami & Aiman, with thoughts like, "Did the Indonesian maid want me to save her from a situation?"

Sitting beside the doctor's table, a nurse came to help with the translations of getting the background session (Onset? Had I seek western medicine? Western medicine being taken?).

One thing for certain, I could tell that the doctor wasn't too happy with the fact that it had been TEN (10) days before I came to have my 1st acupuncture session.

After he wrote it all down in my file (but I couldn't deciphere his writings), he asked me to put my left palm on *a white square pillow.
He analysed my pulse & my face, asked me to stick out my tounge.
He told me something like, "You... No computer, no TV... Sleep! Sleep!" The nurses happily added, "No shopping!"
The doctor looked a bit embarassed that his nurse dared suggested an absurd thing.
But I thought... "Hmmm, this nurse must have met many ladies with Bell's Palsy :)"

Then, we were asked to go to the single bed treatment room next door.

The nurse made me lie down in the direction so that my right face would be close to the side of the bed. An infra red lamp (?) was turned on with its light to my feet.

I was asked to take off my glasses, my tudung & also the anak tudung then to roll up the right side of my pants up to just below the knee.

The doctor pushed the first needle onto my right foot just below the knee while I was answering his question about something. That was a trick, huh..!

Ouch! Not too painful but rather I was just too surprised by the whole thing.
I mean why poke needle to my feet... it's the face with the problem!
The doctor said something about the feet-the face being connected.
Suami told me to just let the doctor do his job!

Then, the doctor just went on quickly, pricking in the needles... more on the foot, then a few on my right arm, a few on the midline of my head & finally many on the right side of the face. Even surrounding the eyes. Scariest to me at the moment!

At some points the needles were connected to some electrical gadget, I think.

He then asked me to close my eyes... by that time more nurses were in the room & excitedly told me to close my eyes!

I thought "CRAZY! I have not done that since 10 days ago!"
Suami & Aiman also joined the chorus of urging me to close my eyes.

I did it. I closed my eyes & I thought the nurses clapped their hands & excitedly said, "See... she closed her eyes!"
They were all excited, like as if I'm a baby who just took my first step.

The nurses & the doctor then left the room leaving the 3 of us behind.

Left to ourselves, Suami & Aiman excitedly counted the needles on me. 21 of them! Of course taking pictures & asking me whether I was in pain, etc... etc...
Nope, I wasn't in pain, but I could feel the twitching of some of the muscles.

I felt so very sleepy & I thought I went to the zzzzz land a couple of times while trying to stop myself from the urge to snore :)

After about 20 minutes the nurse & the doctor came in again.

They started taking out the needles & ensured none was left still sticking to my body.

The nurse told me that the doctor would like me to buy a packet of herbs, but I didn't have to do it if I didn't want to.
It was going to cost $46 & I could get it at the dispensary counter (hmm.. interesting, the term pharmacy was not used).
I asked the doctor, "Any animal... animal parts in the packet?"
He was shaking his head, "No... All plants... Herbs... HALAL! Malaysia Boleh!"
He told me to come again... twice a week would be good.

As we went downstairs to the dispensary, I tried closing my right eye... Nope, still couldn't do it :(
Near the dispensary there was a white board & on it were flyers about TS going for ISO.
Interesting... I know a certain someone who believes strongly in ISO has a clinic in TS Western Medical side :)
Anyway, after getting the packets of herbs, I was given a short briefing on how to double boil the herbs.
Part of the instruction was something about adding a bowl of water.
So, I asked the lady who dispensed the herbs, "What size is the bowl?"
She replied, "Oh... you know the normal size of the bowl you eat rice in."
My first instinct was to say, "Lady... I don't eat rice in a bowl."
Then, I wanted to say, "You mean the bowl we used when it's time to eat the fried rice during a dinner event that serves Chinese dinner?"
Finally, I thought to myself, "She's talking about the bowls used in Chinese dramas lah..."
By then logics came over me, "Girl... Lebih kurang sajalah... ini bukan nak buat solutions in the lab!"

Once done, we just wanted to get out of KL before the jam started.
In the car of course the conversation was about the cost, the no nonsense outlook of the hospital & the wonders of acupuncture.

I was just too tired... I told Aiman, "Nabi kata tuntutlah ilmu hingga ke negeri China... mungkin ini salah-satu ilmunya"

When we reached our housing area, we went straight to Restoran Yasin, a new restaurant in our place, for roti telor garing & mee mamak to calm the nerves + carrot susu to quench the thirst!

On reaching home I went straight to bed & slept in a semi-sitting position as I had been used to doing when I slept during the day!

That night I had to write down in point forms the translation of the instructions about the boiling of the herbs to Tini.
Once the boiling was done & it was cool... I took a sip.
Urghhh... I'm supposed to drink this yucky pahit drink daily & at a rate of a packet a day?
Into the fridge, first, while I think some more about this directive!

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laL-kax2ctw

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Sunday, June 14, 2009

BP10 - 1 JUN 2009 : ISNIN

Since it was school holiday, I insisted that Durrah accompanied me to my 2nd facial electrotherapy. I wanted her to get involved & de-mystify the whole Bell's Palsy episode.

Suami sent Aiman for tuition then picked us up at home to UMMC.

I registered & then we waited a while along the hallway. I was making small talks with Durrah about others that we saw... people accompanying parents, grandparents, etc, i.e. she was doing the right thing to be there with me.

When my name was called, Durrah came in with me & sat across me at the table.

She saw my face being 'set up' for the session (3 sites: forehead aread, cheek area & mouth area). I could not talk much & so she read a book she brought.

Half way through the treatment, more people started to come in. Horror... Durrah was asked to go out of the room. Aiyya... That was more scary for me than for her, maybe!

Did I make the wrong decision of bringing her along? I could not possibly walk out to accompany me & get her settled at the hallway.

Durrah is already in standard 5, a prefect in both schools she goes to... but she's only a baby in my heart! Was she going to be traumatized having to wait for me with strangers many of which showing physical ill health conditions? I tried not to show the panick in me & instead gave her the re-assuring *"both thumbs up"!

(*I'm still learning to do this with my kids. Better late than never! I picked this up in December 2008 from Pak Hasmi, my Bandung 3rd cousin, during a trip up the Mountain of Perahu Tangkupan. To me the tortuous road was DANGEROUS but they were groups of motorcycle riding kids speeding up & down. Meeting each group, Pak Hasmi without fail gave them the both thumbs up & shouted 'HATI-HATI YA!!!'. He explained to us that as concerned adults we should not discourage youngsters from demonstrating their bravery. It should be commended & accompanied with a reminder to be careful. For whatever reason, I had this vision of 'never say die' Indonesian badminton players fighting it out with the roaring of Sendayan Auditorium rooting for them.)

We took a taxi home & I could tell Durrah was not comfortable. I think she had read too many e mails with scary taxi ride stories! When Aiman came back after his tuition at 11am Pak Mat Des sent us to LRT Taman Jaya. Told them we're going to KLCC. It was school holidays... looked like we're not going to Terengganu for cuti-cuti Msia!

Aiman was sort of in charge for the trip. Not only my right eye could not blink, it was also getting blurry.

We went straight to lunch at the food court, bought tickets to buy 3D movie of "Monsters vs Aliens" (Adoi, mahalnya tiket 3D movie!) then solat zohor before the movie. It was Aiman's & Durrah's kind of movie but I fell asleep every now & then... in between sms communications with Yati @ the Pemangku & Kamila who was asked to go on trip. When? Ha... Ha... Ha...

We went back after kids chose some food to take home, supposedly, for their Ipoh Mali cousins that we're expecting that night. When we reached home, I 'pengsan' on the sofa.

It was late when Osh-Azmi & kids arrived after sending Dani to France (Yeay, he's doing Chemical Engineering!).

This was Osh's first time to see me. Syifaa' said, "Ibu nangis masa dia dapat tahu pasal *Mama..."
(*I'm also Mama to them because Hanan, their eldest sister is my anak susu)

By the time we exchanged stories, etc it was early morning. It's OK with me because I was avoiding sleep anyway (I think)!

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Friday, June 12, 2009

BP9 - 31 MEI 2009 : AHAD

We planned to visit Amzar at his Nilai campus & get our lunch there.

So, took time early in the morning to go to the nearby taman to use the reflexology walking path... to think about the week that had ended & to also think about my 2nd week into the Bell's Palsy episode.

For one, by now I knew I would NOT be one of those who would have full recovery within 2-3 weeks after the onset.
Of course, my thoughts turned to the new academic session that would start in July.
I wondered whether I would be OK by then to welcome new batch of students or to be teaching Histology & Neurobiology?
Of course, lectures of all my courses used power point presentations, but takkan jadi wayang bisu kut?
OK... OK... sabar-sabar, satu-satu dulu...

Better to focus on the regiment that I would set to follow.
One thing for certain would be adding the acupuncture part to the treatment & it should be to TS Hospital, near Pudu Raya as I had been advised.

Went back to have breakfast & enjoy the Sunday papers. Then time to get ready for Nilai campus.

This was our 2nd trip there. We visited the place when Amzar got the offer letter. It was quiet, then.

Today, an air of festivities ala-ala resort filled the air.
"Young grown ups" wearing sandals & track pants walking around in groups; macam mundar-mandir saja.. OBVIOUSLY ENJOYING THEIR CURRENT STATUS of not being pelajar sekolah menengah!
A few had plastic bags containing hangers, mee maggi & the likes. Really teringat time when we were settling in at Chico (MARA students had to stay in the dormitories while KP students were not bound by that rule!)
Back to now... some of the boys looked really young. Ini mesti nerds lah, yang dapat sekurang-kurangnya 10A!
The funniest scene I saw... these boys singing "... Ikan di laut, asam di darat..."
Kelakar teramat!

I imagined they were making jokes about how parents & schools (especially boarding schools) used to discourage them from socializing much with the opposite gender with all sorts of rules & regulations.
Then, WALLA... here they were to live life in such a place where there students of nursing college, USIM girls & UIA matriculation girls breathing the same air! For every single meal, ALL of them are supposed to buy food from the restaurants situated on the ground floor of the complexes.
Adoi, intoxicating!
I kept teasing Amzar, "Kalau macam ni keadaannya, baik masuk Matrikulasi Gopeng KPT ajalah"
His response, "Dugaan aja, Mama.. :)"

Well, to be honest... the situation is OK compared to living away from home at the same age that myself & Suami had gone through way back in l979!
The tales we could tell about some weird situations we would be exposed to & how easy it was to go astray.
Alhamdulillah, we passed that phase to become what we are today.

Every now & then I did get the jitters of whether it was a right act on my part to NOT doa a 10A1 results for him, but doa apa-apa yang terbaik untuk kejayaan di dunia & di akhirat!
I always laugh to their faces when the kids asked me to doa specific no. of As before their exams.
They know that I don't entertain such requests & so far they have not been able to come up with a good argument why I should change :)

Seriously, at each junction of our lives... things probably would end up differently depending on the choice we made.
How do we know that our choice or what we wanted is actually the best choice for us.
That's why I never chase anything or tried hard to get anything in my life.
I do doa that I would make the right choice after objectively considering the facts at hands.
Setelah usaha kena bertawakkal & redha.
InsyaAllah, puzzle pieces will fit nicely :)

Back to Nilai, I didn't have to socialize with anyone except the family & we went about doing the normal activities : Masjid Putra Nilai, Giant shopping complex.
Bought a few CDs that I thought would be good for the soul - Hijjaz, Al Maathurat by Badrul Amin & 30 juz Al-Quran.

Going back from Nilai, I was thanking God that Amzar is in UIA Nilai Campus.
Pieces of puzzles fit :)

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Thursday, June 11, 2009

BP8 - 30 MEI 2009 : SABTU

Well... the long week was over & basically, facts established:

1) Bell's Palsy with full paralysis of right facial muscle. NOT stroke, Alhamdulillah.
However, damage occurred at facial nerve (7th cranial nerve) as it came out to innervate the whole area of right facial muscles.
Basically, dekat toll keluar highway... belum pecah jadi small roads.
So, all small roads to different areas were affected!
If a specific branch was the only one affected, then it would only correlate to specific concerned area, e.g. the muscles closing the eye only.
It could not be ascertained whether the damage involved the axons or only the myelin (yes... the sausage looking structures made by the Schwann neuroglial).

2) Obvious problems:
- couldn't close eyes even to blink
- breathing through right nostril affected slightly
- eating-drinking-speech affected
- facial expression couldn't be made with the right side

3) If I were to talk much & in my normal way, the face would get "pulled" to the left side.
It's like orang tarik tali, one side is losing... I think, it's more uncomfortable for people who're talking to me when this happened as a conversation progressed.
You see... I didn't get to see how I looked like!

4) Treatments:
- Prednisolone to bring down the inflammation & Losec to reduce nausea caused by Prednisolone.
- Methylcobalt for nutrient supply to the neural tissue.
- Natural tear fluid for the right eye.
- Electrotherapy for the face.
- Massage for the face.
- Rest.

At first we wanted to do a majlis doa selamat (for me & Amzar) but the timing wasn't good.
Too many things happening -- medications to buy from pharmacy, first day of cuti sekolah, some of the kids were just coming back from the different boarding schools by afternoon, Amzar was supposed to go by UIA bus to start his life in Nilai campus, etc.

So, instead, we had this open invitation to family members to visit me the whole of today :p
I know they clan members had been wanting to visit me... worried, curious... the works.
But, with my daily activities & me being tired when I arrived home... having to 'entertain' visitors is not really a welcoming thought.


Had Kak Ijah & Pak Pozi arranged food from Azizan of JE, PJ State -- set nasi putih & lauk, pulut kuning-roti jala.
Of course, I posed, made faces & explained about Bell's Palsy throughout the day.
We were also entertained by CDs brought by Pak Unggai & family on current events at our home state !

Una who came at night with Mat looked tired, herself. Mat was looking forward to his trip to Paris to scout for engineers to be brought back to Msia!
Told Una to be weary of this viral flu-like fever that I think us, females, normally just push it aside. We will just carry on with our punishing-vigorous daily activities of trying to be a good wife, mother, worker, sister, etc etc etc.
At the very least, must take those supplements / madu / whatever lah!

Abang Long-Kak Long, Amin & Elli also came at night... I'm sure partly a visit insisted on by my mother in law. I'm sure Mak Temerloh is very worried about me while she, herself, is not well in Temerloh.
I didn't want to call & talk to her because I think she would think the worse when my speech get affected during the conversation.
I also didn't muster enough courage to talk to T.Mak during this whole ordeal.

The last person left a bit way past mid-night, I think.
OK, so got this part over & done with.

********************************

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xyAZFO8IkM

Surah Al Insyirah (94):



أَلَمْ نَشْرَحْ لَكَ صَدْرَكَ (1
وَوَضَعْنَا عَنكَ وِزْرَكَ (2
الَّذِي أَنقَضَ ظَهْرَكَ (3
وَرَفَعْنَا لَكَ ذِكْرَكَ (4
فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا (5
إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا (6
فَإِذَا فَرَغْتَ فَانصَبْ (7
وَإِلَى رَبِّكَ فَارْغَبْ (8

Yusuff Ali translation:
1: Have We not expanded thee thy breast?
2: And removed from thee thy burden
3: The which did gall thy back?
4: And raised high the esteem (in which) thou (art held)?
5: So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief.
6: Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.
7: Therefore, when thou art free (from thine immediate task), still labour hard,
8: And to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention.

1: Bukankah Kami telah melapangkan untuk mu dada mu?
2: Dan Kami telah menghilangkan daripada mu beban mu,
3: yang memberatkan punggung mu?
4: Dan Kami tinggikan bagi mu sebutan (nama) mu.
5: Kerana sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan,
6: sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan.
7: Maka apabila kamu telah selesai (dari sesuatu urusan), kerjakanlah dengan sungguh-sungguh (urusan) yang lain,
8: dan hanya kepada Tuhanmulah hendaknya kamu berharap.

*********************************

Sekarang I realized the followings:

- Kalau nak ziarah orang sakit, rasanya baik melawat semasa dia masih berada di hospital.

- Bukan ide yang baik untuk melawat pesakit yang masih boleh bergerak normal di rumah, sebab nanti dia sebuk nak melayan pelawat... terutama jika dia seorang wanita & dia adalah tuan rumah!

- Oleh kerana dia sebenarnya sakit... ziarah kita itu sebenarnya akan memenatkan fizikalnya.

- Tetapi, kalau yang sakit memang betul-betul terbaring... ziarahlah dia di mana saja dia berada :)
Atau sememangnya yang bersakit menjemput, "Tak apa.. datanglah!"

- InsyaAllah, doa-solat hajat, dll lebih sesuai terutamanya digabungkan sekali dengan sms &/atau e mel.
Bahagian sms &/atau e mel tu kira good PR lah :)

*******************************************

Monday, June 8, 2009

BP7 - 29 MEI 2009 : JUMAAT DI UMMC

Today was to be spent in E&T, UMMC.
Made arrangement for *Ida to pick me up at UMMC before we would go for lunch-chat at AMCORP (mana lagi?). Till Thursday, she was attending the course in preparation of AD Bil. 10 (which would take place mid June-early July).
(*Ida is part of the me-she-Manis set of friends which went back to my Sri Aman days!)

Suami & I went out slightly late this morning. I insisted on eating nasi lemak I bought at the gerai near Durrah's sekolah ugama to lapik perut before prednisolone. I think deep down I was also tired from the rigorous daily to UMMC routine.

On my appointment card, the name was one rather similar to a lady cabinet member. Surprise... surprise, the doctor was actually a young male (DrTS)!

Now that I already knew the routine... background check first, etc.
In my eagerness to get this part over & done with, I was going off tangent in my story line. DrTS in a pleading-exasperated way had this to tell me, "Can we do this systematically? My way? You are causing me to lose my lines of thoughts..."
Ha.. ha.. ha.. kesian the guy, "Stop patronizing this young doctor. Let him do his work, girl...!"

OK, so I told him about my vertigo bout involving my right ear during my 1st winter in Kent, Ohio, U.S.A.
Remembered, having to be walked up from the basement of Mazhar's house (which me, Bella, Nikki & Netasha had rented) to the car before the seniors brought me to the clinics. Everything was just reeling.
I remembered it was a viral attack & that I couldn't even drive for sometime. Vaguely remembered, Dr. Bill Cruce driving me back from Rootstown & I was trying so hard to control myself from throwing up in his car... & we were just pulling out of the parking lot to go out of NEOUCOM.

Back to the present.
DrTS checked my ears, sent me to Audiology lab & wrote prescriptions:
1) More artificial tears
2) Losec (to help with the nausea due to prednisolone)
3) Methycobal, a good supplement for neural tissue. I told him that I read somewhere vitamins B6, B12 & Zinc could help & that I've bought Centrum (to cover the first 2 vitamins) & Zinc, on itself. Methycobal has all that & more!

At the Audiology Lab, which was not too easy to locate... my hearing was checked through a few tests.
All sorts of sounds with different tones were put into my ears.
The results showed that everything was all within normal range & so, any problems within the ears (especially the right ear) was crossed off & no connection to my Bell's Palsy.
By the time I got back to E&T, DrTS was no longer there & a lady doctor (DrL) was in his place but she was already briefed about my case.

While I had this perception that DrTS was totally against alternative medicine, DrL was OK with it, i.e. making informed decision after scouting for info in the internet!
However, I was lost during her analogy about conductance between Ipoh-KL...
"Huh? Is this how the students felt if I used too weird an analogy to whatever topic at hand that I was covering in class?"
Some examples of mine:
"ubi kayu" & "bunch of grapes" for exocrine gland; "raisins thrown in between bunch of grapes" for Islets of Langerhans in pancreas; "donuts" as ionophores; "rambutan" for neurons... etc.
Eh... Food... Glorious Food ke semuanya? Ha... Ha... Ha...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAjCBZao38I

Or maybe, the sounds put into my ear has created 'dumb bells' in my head that I wasn't getting what she was saying? Wahteverlah, just put on that "OK, OK... TQ for taking the trouble to explain" smile :)

When I was done, it was close to 12 noon & I told Ida that I would just get a taxi & go straight to AMCORP. I wanted to go to the pharmacy to buy those prescribed by DrTS.
Since Ida was coming from home, I would have enough time. I was also worried with the fact that we wouldn't have much time since I was supposed to send Durrah to school. Solat Jumaat for Suami!

We went to the restaurant that I thought would provide a quick service & also a chance for us to chat. She brought along a bottle of Air Zam-Zam. We both took the same noodle dish but Ida wasn't eating much :(
She insisted of driving me home & sending Durrah to school.
I, then, pushed us back to AMCORP!
Since I treated her to the quick lunch, insisted that she treated us for dessert at the newly opened SR.
I wanted to unwind after a long week of daily UMMC activities & I was not feeling guilty of spending time with her because she's in her sabbatical leave.
We also had much to catch up since her 2nd daughter just entered PASUM while my 1st son in Matrikulasi UIA... both these kids have a common friend (ehmm...).

We slowly walked through the shops at the ground floor level under the pretense of me looking for tudungs to wear during my visits to UMMC which must fulfill the followings:
- easily manageable (i.e. without having to wear pins-brooches)
- made up of airy material (a lot of waitings in rather warm locations)
- with patterns (would not get stained easily by food/drinks not handled well by my herot mouth)
- adult-looking (I had been using Durrah's!).

Mission accomplished at Kak Ijah's favourite DT shop & of course, Ida also shopped. We ended up spending $ in a few other shops, too.
Well, as the saying goes... WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH... THE TOUGH GOES SHOPPING !

After dessert of a piece of carrot cake & a piece of strawberry mousse plus talks on *potential menantus, she sent me home.

(*Mimi, a friend of ours from Sri Aman, proposed that a few of us marry off our children to each other. The logic is, we can be quite confident of how each of us has brought up our children. Ni semua respons kepada keadaan di luar yang penuh lakonan... However, none of this kahwin paksa, but parents -- MOTHERS! -- act as facilatators. Adoi... not sure about the idea of berbisan among friends!)

On reaching home, I went straight to the sofa & this bakal mak mertua fell asleep soundly.
The body was certainly not what it used to be :)

********************************

Part of SUNRISE, SUNSET:

Is this the little girl I carried,
Is this the little boy at play?
I don't remember growing older,
When did they?
When did she get to be a beauty,
When did he grow to be so tall?
Wasn't it yesterday when they were small?

Sunrise, sunset (x2),
Swiftly flow the days.
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers,
Blossoming even as we gaze.

Sunrise, sunset (x2),
Swiftly fly the years,
One season following another,
Laiden with happiness and tears.
What words of wisdom can I give them,
How can I help to ease their way?

******************************************

BP6 - 28 MEI 2009 : KHAMIS DI UMMC

To be honest, I woke up feeling nervous about my appointment at UMMC today.
In a way, I was waiting for this particular appointment.
I was supposed to go to Neuro Lab at 5th floor to check extent of damage to my 7th (facial) cranial nerve.
In indirect way, it would give me some idea about my recovery.

The appointment was not until 11.30am, but a staff from the lab called to confirm my attendance & I told her that I would come early. After all I was just killing time at home without the focus to do anything much...
I was toying the idea of either calling Pak Mat Des (our honorary family taxi man) to send me or took up the standing offer of Pak Pozi & Kak Ijah, who were in VA.
Probably, to ease the anxiety in me, I chose to be sent by family members.
Tok Pa & Nek Mak actually had to send their Ayrah to the childcare, then settle some $ matter (on behalf of T.Mak) responding to an SOS & then on off to LCCT to pick up Pak Ripin from his Tual trip.

ProfKJG, himself, did the different tests. Half way into the test, he started humming to himself. I thought to myself, "This is not too good, girl...":

1) Blink Reflex - stimulating supraorbital left & right. In both cases my right orbital oculi didn't respond positively to "look at my hand up here... now here... look straight on, look down..."

2) Motor NCS - different branches of the nerve were checked. Needles were poked to different sites on the face. Adoi !

His official comments on my EMG report:
The right R1 & R2 waves were absent on bilateral stimulation. The facial nerve CMAP is smaller on the right. Needle electromyography showed no active axonal denervation but markedly reduced recruitment pattern. The study suggests a right facial nerve palsy. There is evidence of axonal continuity still.

He explained:

1) I have seen worse cases but your case doesn't look too good, either. There is a conduction block.

2) You have to continue with the established prednisolone treatment.

3) Going for acupuncture will not cause any more damage, but whether it would really help... we don't know. If you're going to do it, do it at a real place, e.g. Tung Shin Hospital.

Alhamdulillah, although not too good good, neither was it SO bad. The inflammation had already started when my ear was already sensitive to the handphone on Thursday night... the onset of the Bell's Palsy was on Saturday early morning; i.e. about 24hours + of the inflammation!

Certainly I would not fall under the category of those who would be back to normal about 2 weeks post-onset.

Finished the tests in time to catch a ride from Suami... But, first to UMMC foodcourt to get rojak & yong tou foo :)
Didn't tell Suami much about results of the tests.
Needed to mull over things...

I was about to take my siesta when Pak Ripin & Pak Pozi-Kak Ijah arrived. However, even at the door Pak Ripin was more concerned over my situation rather than being excited about his adventure!

They brought more rojak.
Luckily, we were joined by Rahil (after work at Smart Reader) & Azmi (from a meeting at Amcorp!) with Madu Kaula.
So, we got to hear a bit about the Tual trip & Pak Ripin's experiences with *the relatives over there (interspersed with answering his & Azmi's questions about my situation).
*Of course, mostly about Adli !

Adli (leading the Tual pack) wouldn't allow Pak Ripin to buy us good pearls, to ensure that we (or representative from each family) come to Tual, ourselves. Betul-betul taktik mafia!
However, he gave 1 normal good quality pearl :) Actually, I did not get a chance to do anything to the 5 pearls he sent earlier through Pak Pozi- Kak Ijah!!
There were 2 disks of photos (taken during the trip & another on the wedding of Adli's son).
While Pak Ripin rested a bit, Kak Ijah did the necessities of dividing the ole-ole.

That night, Kak Ha & Abang Zul came.
Of course, she wanted me to rest my mouth :)

*********************************
http://www.video4viet.com/watchvideo.html?id=1pjU3PAxTbk&title=Ampar%20Ampar%20Pisang

Ampar ampar pisang
Pisangku balum masak
Masak sabigi dihurung bari-bari
Masak sabigi dihurung bari-bari
Mangga lepak mangga lepok
Patah kayu bengkok
Bengkok dimakan api, apinya canculupan
Patah kayu bengkok
Bengkok dimakan api, apinya canculupan
Jari kaki sintak dahulu akan masak
Ampar ampar pisang
Pisangku balum masak
Masak sabigi dihurung bari-bari
Masak sabigi dihurung bari-bari
Mangga ricak mangga ricak
Patah kayu bengkok
Tanduk sapi tanduk sapi kulibir bawang
Nang mana batis kutung dikitip bidawang

Pencipta / Pengarang Lagu & Lirik : Hamiedan AC

*********************************************************

Saturday, June 6, 2009

BP5 - 27 MEI 2009 : RABU DI UMMC

Was actually still up at 3:44am when I received an sms from Khalil via Kak Ha:
Just did a tawaf sunat & solat hajat for MkZ & T.Mak, semoga sembuh dengan segera, InsyaAllah! =)
Jazakallah Khalil!

It was only about 5am when I slept, i.e. after the usual hassles of putting eyepad to the right eye & trying another creative technique to put it in place. Tried using a hair band.. no luck, still didn't work :(

Good that my appointment today at UMMC, i.e. at the Occupational Therapy Unit was for late afternoon. I was at home in the morning & I took time to send out 2 sms firsts:

1) sms to DSHA NeuroRG grad students + Lin Eng + Heida:
Salam. Nice to wake up yesterday late evening to a box of BA donuts + a basket of fruits together with a Get Well card full of wishes. Alhamdulillah, psychologically better, since yesterday ProfKJG ruled out stroke. Thursday neuro lab will check extend of damage so can approximate recovery rate. Physically don't feel so good: 'oozy-woozy'. Maybe effect of increase steroid dosage and/or daily encounter of not so healthy people at UMMC. TQ again!
*Amzari was sent on this errand by the group.
Aiman & Durrah, especially, enjoyed the donuts!

2) sms *Nina to meet me for lunch at UMMC food court level.

Nina had been sending me all sorts of sms related to my Bell's Palsy case: wanting to see me because she would be back in Taiping for school holidays, alternative medications to try, side effects of steroid, etc.

She even told me about the possibility of getting facial hairs. My response to that sms, "I don't intend to take the steroid THAT long sampai tumbuh misai, janggut & jambang lah".

(*Nina, Saadah & Izan were my CSUC room/house mates since way back in 1979 at Bidwell Place, Chico, California, U.S.A. We changed apartments a couple of times after that but we've always stuck together, even when one of us moved out when she got married. We rotated room mates every few months, to ensure that each of us was not stuck with any one person too long a time & this was done throughout the years till we graduated in 1983)

We had the UMMC meehoon soup. The only food with a poster advertising it at the main entrance of the cafetaria! I treated her because I said the meeting was an exchange of what would have been me melayan dia di rumah if she were to visit me at home :) She paid for the dessert.

We chatted about my condition. Nina, the well concerned friend she was & would always be, wanted me to try out some alternative stuff. Told her that I was keeping my options open but I did want to get some facts established first before trying out anything 'unconventional'.

She also voiced out that if she were to be put into my situation, she wouldn't be going about doing things like I was doing, i.e. she would the take the option of 'sitting it out for awhile'.
I told her that if that would have helped, I would also do the same.
I had no problem of others 'looking my way slightly longer' when they saw I had slight difficulties eating, etc. I would just shrug off the situation.

As always, I have full confidence in the good naturedness & the logicness of human being.
In relation to my current case, people should think that it was perfectly normal to see such sights in a hospital.
Well, even outside the hospital, we should expect to see/meet all types of people living in this world. Each has a right to live life as others are, including dining out.
I told Nina, "After all, they might also think that I had always looked that way or looked worse & I had actually improved!"

Nina was all smiles after that!
Sincerely, I do hope that by seeing me (as someone known or unknown to others) living out there in the open.. those in such similar situations or in any situation that put them feeling slightly inferior about themselves (because they feel that they don't measure up to -- what in their mind -- should be normal): SHOULD THINK AGAIN, re-asses matters.
I mean, what is 'normal'? That is a yardstick which should actually consider all sorts of aspects / values depending on the related / relevant factors to the situation.

It is not a value of one for all!

Anyway, back to lunch.... When we took our seat, I saw "long time no see sahabat MY" paying for his food.

In fact that very morning, I was wondering to myself whether I should be informing him & sahabat-sahabat seangkatan dengannya about my situation. Serba-salah...
Well, God took care of that. Here, I stumbled into him & he got to see my condition, himself!

I looked around & couldn't see anyone I knew with him. sms sahabat Zul about MY's presence. When MY walked past where Nina & I were seating, I showed him my Bell's Palsy face & his response, "Dah... jangan melawan Boss :)"

I just laughed off his statement, but in my heart I was thinking, "What in the world is MY talking about? Hey, ingat I masih pegang admin work ke?"
A lady took him to join a group of others. Only then, I received an sms from sahabat Zul on the serious condition of mother of sahabat MY at level 3, ICU. My doas...

Sent off Nina to UMMC's entrance so that she could get a cab. Passed some documents to be picked up by Mui Koon & Mieza from her office.

Then, registered myself at Occupational Therapy. I got myself about 1 hour to kill. Just sat at the waiting lounge sms communicating.

When it was time, a Cik Faridah sat with me, first of course establishing the background of the case.

Then she had an intern sat with us.
They did a few tests to check my coordination, Carpal Tunnel sysndrome & all.
Everything was within the normal range in comparison with the tests I had to do about my right face!

Next, it was the importance of massaging the face: the right types & in the right directions!

A handout with some drawings was used as a guideline & a long mirror was put in front of me to make the learning less awkward and/or less difficult to follow:

1) Touch cheek & press fingers into cheek to assist lift.
Lift cheek *without fingers (*Impossible for me to do!).
Do this for specific side & for both sides.

2) Touch cheek, press fingers into cheek & **pull back toward ear (**Macam letak blusher Puan!)
Pull back cheek *without fingers (*Impossible for me to do!).
Do this for specific side & for both sides.

**Huh??? I hardly used blusher nowadays, except to special functions. Not even sure, I was doing it the correct way. Most of my cosmetic training was done in Chico with Nina, Izan & Saadah. Actually, ALL my cosmetic trainings were acquired, then. We went to the extreme... facial exercise, home blended masks that at times looked like leftover cekodok's batter kept in the fridge!

Memory is one rezeki ALLAH swt which is so very unique. Look at the memories that were being evoked & accessed by my Bell's Palsy situation :)

The intern was then assigned to show me some techniques to handle my right hand Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Told them, maybe I could drop by some other times to get a handout on the matter.

Too much info for me to take in at the sitting.
Tahu pun... ini selalu dalam kelas, selagi ada beberapa saat atau minit pun, ada saja... "just one more slide, huh..."
Ha... Ha..

Once done, I went up to 3rd floor hoping that I could get in to visit mother of sahabat MY's.

No luck. Since Suami could only pick me up on his way back from work (1-2 hours later), instead, called up my room office hoping either *Mui Koon or *Soke Chee could pick me up near office of Medical Faculty Dean's office.
Yes, I am losing weight partly due to the waking I'm doing...
(*Zulfa, Mieza & Amzari have motorbikes... tak sanggup merempit)

It was Mui Koon driving in her normal 'gregarious way' with Soke Chee & Joan in tow. Tried sneaking into office without meeting people because I would like to concentrate on my first face-to-face real interaction with DSHA NeuroRG grad group. Tried to make the meeting as normal as possible & got Amzari to take pictures of me... printed a copy for me & instructed them to print 3 more copies -- for Pjbt Am, Pjbt HEP & for the room.

Lin Eng & NYR also came by... hope they both felt "she'll be ok" by the time I had to leave.

Suami came & we went to pick up Durrah


*************************************************

I could tell which of my friends have a lot things happening in their lives or not by the way they reacted during my first meeting with them.
The ones who do, can be less difficult to convince that, "Yes, I have this problem now. BUT, myself & the family are coping/managing. Life goes on & I'm still me except for the herot-ness, difficulties in speech, eating & drinking."
Then, we could move on & normally get on the normal griping about the going ons in their lives :)
Those whose lives were not too busy / hectic & living daily activities, seemed to be more affected. They were the ones with slight tinge of sadness on their faces that were more difficult to wipe off.


Ladies & all,
InsyaAllah, with usaha + berkat doa everyone, I will have a speedy & a full recovery.
Ini dah jatuh atas rezeki dugaan masing-masing.
We'll just have to see
.

*************************************************

PREDNISOLONE & KESAN SAMPINGAN

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/prednisone-side-effects.html

Info from the article which I find relevant:

- Prednisone’s side effects are legendary in both the medical & patient communities. Patients usually ingest this non-synthetic corticosteroid drug orally.

- Medical professionals prescribe prednisone for many medical conditions. Prednisone turns into the steroidal product prednisolone after the liver has processed prednisone following administration. Its most common use is as an immunosuppressant that acts on almost the entire immune system. This makes it very useful in the treatment of autoimmune diseases, inflammatory diseases.

(Prednisone = blue colored small pills of 5mg each)

- The usual adult dose at the beginning of treatment ranges from 20 to 80 milligrams per day.

(I started 30mg for 3 days & then asked to increase to 50mg)

- The side effects of prednisone include adrenal suppression, which can occur with periods of prednisone use to surpass 7 days, Adrenal suppression refers to the body’s inability to synthesize natural corticosteroids, resulting in a dependency on the prednisone taken by the patient.
(My side effects started in the 2nd week of my treatment)

- Doctors do not recommend the cessation of prednisone when the patient has taken it for longer than 7 days. They reduce the dose gradually over a few days in the case of short-term prednisone use, & over weeks or months in the case of long-term treatment. Stopping prednisone treatment abruptly can cause the life-threatening Addison’s disease, in which in the body no longer produces sufficient amounts of adrenal steroid hormones.

(Life threatening!)

- Doctors treat these side effects of prednisone symptomatically, since it is not always feasible to stop prednisone administration even when severe side effects occur. These are situation where they have to weigh the disadvantages of using a drug against the advantages & make an informed decision. One must remember that while prednisone definitely does give rise to many side effects, it is also a life-saving drug.

(This was mentioned to me, I mean the importance of continuing on with prednisone... no matter what!)

SIDE EFFECTS of prednisone use include:


a) High blood glucose levels, most commonly in patients that are already has diabetes mellitus or is using medications that increase blood glucose.

(I don't have this, Alhamdulillah)

b) Insomnia / sleeplessness
(YES, most days I slept at 4am & would be up latest by 6.45am...)

c) Euphoria / hyperactivity, in some cases, even mania.
(NOT mania... but the way I interrupted doctors, etc doing their jobs... I definitely am more hyperactive than my normal hyperactive self!)

d) Unnatural fatigue or weakness
(YES, this effect showed itself once I walked into my abode)

e) Abdominal pain
(Don't think so, Alhamdulillah)

f) Can affect the eyes as well; the most common side effects in the context are glaucoma, cataract formation & blurring of vision
(YES! YES! YES! I'm most affected by this, because it hampered my reading-writing-smsing-enjoying TV-etc)

g) Peptic ulcers
(YES, given Losac / Omesec for this. Lots of angin... nausea, etc)

h) Infections
(Nope, Alhamdulillah)

i) Pain in the hips or shoulders
(Yes, in the shoulders)


j) Osteoporosis
(Taking calcium for this)

k) Occurrence of acne
(A few popped up on my face)


l) Increase in appetite... thus, weight gain
(DEFINITELY, YES! Seemingly always hungry...)

m) Stretch marks on the skin

(Already have them before this Bell's Palsy Episode)

n) Swelling in the face
(Definitely YES, after 2nd week)


o) Nervousness
(Didn't notice this one)


p) Easily bruised -- info through self experience & confirmed by a physician
(Mine showed itself on my 1st day of work when I was holding on to my course files to get them ready for AD Bil 10. So shocked to see my palm thumb area bruised. Showed it to Dr Mona for confirmation)

q) Usage for long periods can cause side effects, e.g. Cushing's syndrome, weight gain, osteoporosis, glaucoma & type II diabetes mellitus.
(Hope this won't happen to me, InsyaAllah)

r) Upon withdrawal of prednisone after long-term use, patients also suffer from depression

(Hope this won't happen to me, InsyaAllah)