28 May 2011
Alhamdulillah, 23 May 2011 (Monday), early this week marked the 2nd year of my life as someone who have experienced:
- a full blown Bell's Palsy on my right side of face
- the side effects of the overdose of steroid which was supposed to handle the inflammation of the Bell's Palsy
If I take a moment & go over events... it has actually been a looong 2 years but, InsyaAllah, I think the one single factor that enabled me to go through it all is my ability to be emotionally cut off above it all.
As I normally tell others:
= When life gives you lemon... make lemonade
= Quickly deal with situation then just move on.
= "Barang yang lepas jangan dikenang"
However, it is only now that I dare put up my photos (well, the least gory ones) up front for all to see.
Putting them up on the FB accounts is psychologically for me something that I need to do to deal with some of the unfinished business that still remains.
I only can put them up now since I know that currently I look rather normal (for those who don't know me they wouldn't have guess what I had gone through)... & so I will not be inviting "sympathies/ kesian/ etc"
I also want to tell others, that if I can do it... then they can also do so.
With perseverance, usaha, support & doas, anything can be achieved, InsyaAllah.
One chooses to do it OR not to do it.
Leave the self-pity, etc & all those that will pull you down behind.
I am NOT just talking about Bell's Palsy but everything else in life.
Sometimes I thought to myself, "You're acting up too well & too convincing girl. Now these people really thought that you're OK. Yes, you don't want them to sympathize your situation BUT neither do you want them to think that you're SO healthy that they can start lumping things onto you. You know that literally you feel that you can just drop dead playing I SHOULD HELP"
When I looked back... a few poignant weak moments:
= my mother, a stroke victim herself, had tears in her eyes when looking at my face a week after I had the Bell's Palsy
= fear of sleeping... for fear of not knowing what could happen while sleeping
= fell while walking near the Chemistry staircase to the parking lot just because I stumbled on a small stone
= feeling that the porch of my parking space was too far a distance to walk to
= just falling asleep on the couch while the boisterous PP family members were around me
= tears in eyes of people I know...
Anyway, life is wonderful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7l74d1fmZbw&feature=related
